Difference Makers
This week I'll talk about some players who may be able to help you get back into contention. I'll also provide some direction for those making that tough decision between fantasy baseball and their woman.
Topic of the week: Fantasy or Woman?
A colleague of mine recently educated me on the video-game craze known as World of Warcraft (he refers to it as "World of War Crack"). Apparently, it's so addicting that dudes have been known to let their marriages rot as they play it until 2:00 a.m. every day. My first thought was, "Man, that's worse than fantasy baseball!"
Still, fantasy baseball can be pretty addicting in its own right, and I've had a couple of emailers explain how their infatuation with the game resulted in divorce from their wives. (I think they were bragging.)
If you are considering choosing fantasy baseball over a woman, you should jot down some pros and cons to aid in the decision. In fact, I'll help you get started. (Cons first for our purposes.)
Con: Fantasy baseball can't cook for you.
Pro: Fantasy baseball won't invent some recipe that includes a random assortment of fruits and vegetables, chicken, and pasta tossed with low-fat salad dressing…then get insulted when you don't stuff every last bite down your throat.
Con: Fantasy baseball cannot be a lifelong mate.
Pro: Fantasy baseball won't burn your house down if you play fantasy football.
Con: You can't take fantasy baseball on a romantic expedition
Pro: Fantasy sports doesn't insist on driving an Expedition that it handles like a car carrier and trying to squeeze it into the "customer with infant" parking spot when there are wide open spaces 15 feet further from the market.
Con: Fantasy baseball won't help discipline the kids.
Pro: Fantasy baseball won't look at you like a savage, heartless hostage taker when you raise your voice to the kids.
Con: Fantasy baseball does not have a brain.
Pro: Fantasy baseball does not think fantasy baseball is stupid.
Con: Fantasy baseball will not help you keep your temper in check.
Pro: Fantasy baseball doesn't classify casually flipping another motorist the bird as "extreme roadrage."
Con: Fantasy baseball has no emotions.
Pro: Fantasy baseball will never learn from some modern day Sally Jessy that every woman—regardless of how ugly, dumb, and self absorbed she may be—is entitled to a man with the looks of Orlando Bloom, the sensitivity of Dr. Phil, and the wallet of Ichiro.
Con: Fantasy baseball cannot drive.
Pro: Fantasy baseball will never run the rear passenger-side tire over the curb when making a right turn.
Con: Fantasy sports will never say, "I love you."
Pro: Fantasy baseball will never say, "You'd be so proud of the amazing deal I got on these Gucci shoes!"
Got more? Send them to
jgangi@rotoworld.com.
Players of Note: 2nd-Half Difference Makers
For those that need to dig a little to get back into contention, here are some under-the-radar guys who might be able to help.
Kevin Millwood – Despite his ugly 5.77 ERA, Millwood has really turned things around of late. Over the last month, he's tallied four wins to complement a 3.23 ERA and 1.26 WHIP and 33 K in 39 innings. Although his career ERA is just under 4.00, we've seen Millwood dominate for stretched, as he did in 2005 (2.86 ERA), 2002 (18 wins and a 3.24 ERA) and 1999 (2.68 ERA, 18 wins, and 205 K). On the chance that his recent performance marks the start of one such stretch, he makes a smart pickup right about now. In fact, if you put any stock in second-half trends, consider that Millwood's post-All-Star ERA is a full run lower than his pre-All-Star mark (3.41 to 4.41). Given that he plays for the worst team in the AL West, however, he's unlikely to continue racking up four wins a month.
Corey Patterson – In what was my best move of the season thus far, I picked
Chone Figgins out of the trash in late May when he was batting a gag-inducing .108 with just three steals. Since then he's been a fantasy super stud, raising his average to .307 and swiping an insane 21 bags…sorry, make that 22—he just nabbed another as I write this sentence. Go Chone! If you missed out on the bargain bonanza that was Figgins, perhaps Patterson will turn out to be the next best thing. After managing just one dinger over the first three months, he's "broken out" with three over the last two weeks. For the month of July, he's hitting .333. And you can't ignore his 20 SB. He's hit as many as 24 round trippers in a season (2004) and stolen as many as 45 bases (2006). I don't have to tell you how rare that kind of speed/power combination is. Does .275 with 10 HR and 20 SB over the remainder of the season seem realistic? Is that not something you could use?
Jonny Gomes – One of my preseason sleepers, Gomes disappointed over the first two months of the season, hitting just .167 in April and .211 in May. Since then, though, he has turned it on, hitting .322 in June and .344 thus far in July. He's also smacked six homers over the last month. The kid clearly has pop, as evidenced by the 32 long balls he hit over the second half of 2005 and the first half of 2006. The big question is, can he get consistent at bats? Manager/Clock Blocker Joe Maddon inexplicably benches Gomes in favor of
Greg Norton and his .178 AVG at times (thereby limiting Gomes' fantasy value), but Gomes is worth a roster spot if you have space in case reason prevails in the end.
Andruw Jones – Well, it took long enough, but Jones is finally coming around. For the month of July, he's hitting .295 with six homers. Let's not forget, this is a guy—in the prime of his life—who jacked 92 long balls across 2005 and 2006. Perhaps trading
Adrian Gonzalez for him back in May will turn out to be my second best move of the year!
Richie Sexson – No sign of a turnaround yet from Sexson, who's hitting .203 at the moment. Given that he's a career .265 hitter who's traditionally performed better in the second half, though, the chance of improvement seems high.