Fantasy Perks

[Hache Man]

Fantasy Perks


This week, I'll discuss the fantasy perks that your work can't provide. I'll also discuss Warrick Dunn, Frank Gore, Edgerrin James, Laurence Maroney, and Brandon Jones. And we'll hear from readers who offer their own symptoms of Post-Draft Depression.
Thought of the Week: Fantasy Perks
You probably get some sort of perks from your job. Maybe the boss brings in donuts once a week. Maybe you get free soda. If you're really lucky, you might get stock options or even matching contributions to your retirement fund. Still, fantasy sports have some perks that work just can't offer. (After all, that's why we love this game.) Here are a few that come to mind.

• Moving up in the standings does not require me incorporating phrases like "low-hanging fruit" or "long pole in the tent" into my vocabulary.
• When some dude from my league sends me an asinine proposal, I don't have to soften my response to the nth degree with something like, "I like it! I have some other high priority transactions to address first, but I'll look into this when I can." Rather, I can simply say, "Go screw!"
• If the commissioner has some cockamamie idea that could lead to the demise of the league, the owners will let him know. They won't tell him what a genius he is.
• My league does not require that I sit in two-hour meetings listening to every other owner give a detailed account of the transactions he or she made that week.
• I don't have to give 40% of my winnings to capital gains taxes.
• 98% of the pot doesn't automatically go to the dude who started the league and his lazy ass buddies who hopped on board for the ride.
• When a new guy joins the league, I don't get a press release detailing all of the other leagues he's ever played in and quoting the commish as saying, "We're extremely excited to welcome Doug to our team. His experience and leadership skills should prove invaluable…."
• I never fantasize about getting in the octagon with my commissioner.
• When setting my lineup, I never find myself wondering if I'd feel freer in a prison or hospital.
• If I show up late to my auction, I don't feel the need to sneak in the back door and through the kitchen.
• No one else can take credit for my draft picks.

Got more? Send them to jgangi@rotoworld.com.
Players of Note
Warrick Dunn – After rushing for more than 130 yards in each of the first two weeks, Dunn has totaled just 99 over the last two weeks. The recent lack of production is somewhat of a surprise being that he faced the less-than-fierce run defenses of Arizona and New Orleans. Of course, you can't read too much into two games (especially on the heels of a couple of monster games), but Dunn owners have reason to worry—namely the emergence of Jerious Norwood (who rushed for 106 yards last week), Dunn's lack of receptions (he only has four on the season), and the fact that he'll be 32 years old in January. Don't panic just yet, but be aware of these issues. If you do get a good offer for Dunn, you should probably jump on it. After all, Norwood is averaging 8.3 ypc at the moment!
Frank Gore – After racking up 307 total yards and three touchdowns in the first two weeks, Gore has slipped some, managing 153 total yards and no scores over the last two weeks. Thanks to the dropoff, four fumbles, and the threat of Michael Robinson stealing goal line carries, Gore's stock has dipped. And while the aforementioned are legitimate causes for concern, it's still premature to write off the promising sophomore. For one thing, his touches have been limited the last two weeks due to the Niners getting behind big. (Of course, this could become a common theme.) And he's still averaging 4.4 yards per carry. Bottom line: I'm not touting him as a great buy low candidate, but Gore owners should see how it plays out before dealing him for some WR3.
Edgerrin James – Though he's had decent production this season, there are reasons for concern with James. The main one being the Cardinals offensive line. Currently, Edge is averaging just 3.1 yards per carry. To put that in perspective, he's only averaged less than four ypc once in his career (in 2002 when he put up 3.6). He's just not going to get those wide running lanes he did in Indy when defensive were focused on covering the Colts' receivers. So, while he should remain a solid fantasy producer, don't expect him to be as studly as he has in the past.
Laurence Maroney – I know I keep pimping Maroney. Being a Patriots fan, I guess I can't help it. But watching this guy is so much fun. If he's not blowing by or through defenders, he's pancaking them with his phenomenal straight arm. Coach Bill Belichick is pleased with his progress in terms of waiting for the holes to open and following his blockers, so, amazingly, things should only get better for the rookie. That said, realize that the Pats were intent on exploiting the Bengals' run defense last week, so the kid can't be expected to put up 140 total yards and two scores a week. What you can expect, though, is the Maroney-to-Dillon ratio to gradually grow.
Brandon Jones – Now that Jones has been named a starting WR for the Titans this week, his value obviously gets a boost. The question is how much of a boost? So far on the season, he's managed just four catches for 36 yards. However, he did have a 93-yard game in the preseason, and he looked very promising last year as a rookie before tearing his ACL in November. If you've got the room on your bench, his upside is worth a flyer. Given that he's still not 100%, though, he probably won't break out until next season.
The Trash Dump
To submit a question or comment to the Trash Dump, email jgangi@rotoworld.com.
The following are in response to last week's column on Post-Draft Depression.
May I respectfully suggest you left out an entire level of symptoms of PDD - The Terminal Case? These of course correspond to your listed symptoms in the Mild and Severe Cases:

• Rather than watching Prison Break, you ask your girlfriend if she still tapes Oprah everyday and offer to watch it with her.
• Your broadband usage at work dropped so much, you get a promotion for saving the company money.
• You get a second job selling "Barbie: The Video Game" door-to-door to cover your ill-advised side bets.
• You offer to do the week's grocery shopping on Sunday night by yourself, so she can stay home and watch "Extreme Makeover - Home Edition."
• You haven't looked at your league message board in four days…because you've discovered the joys of quilting.
• You cancel your weekly Bears party at your house and begin having movie parties on Sunday. This week's video: Yentl.
• You hang a Kordell Stewart fathead to cover the hole.
• You stay in bed all day…watching The View.
• You begin to think of Monday as that "curled-up-in-the-corner-in-the-fetal-position-sobbing-uncontrollably day."

-Dave

A few I've experie... uh, I mean, noticed:
Mild case: You start to worry about Terrell Owens as a person.
Severe case: You start to worry about Kim Etheridge as a person
Mild case: You wonder if Juan Pablo Montoya can win in the 42 Texaco/Havoline car in NASCAR next year.
Severe case: You wonder who will be driving the 49 whatsonline.com car in NASCAR next year.
Mild case: You study the free agents in your fantasy league for help in your game next week.
Severe case: You study the NFL backups who will be free agents at the end of the season for help in your keeper league next year
Mild case: You stop singing "Who Let the Dogs Out?"
Severe case: You let the dogs out.
Mild case: You're surprised to see Marshall Faulk in a business suit on the NFL Network
Severe case: You put a waiver claim in on Marshall Faulk
-Thom
More might have PDD if you find yourself saying any of the following:

• "It's not that serious to me. I only play this for fun. It's only $200."
• "It's not a big deal that Alexander got hurt. I drafted him because I like the Seahawks."
• "Don't you have anything better to do at work than offer me trades?"
• "I didn't even know if I won or loss, I have better things to do than watch football all Sunday."
• "At least it's a keeper league. I really drafted for next year!!!!"

- terrance
I went from Drafterglow to Post-Draft Depression in one hideous week. Shaun Alexander went from a slow start to a cracked foot. Gore went from fulfilling his potential to hurt and losing time and goal line carries. Simms went from solid #2 QB to a damaged spleen. Warner went from solid sleeper with great weapons to a short leash. A great draft now looks like an incredibly weak QB corps and a shaky RB tandem. Oh, and one other symptom of post-draft disorder: glass in your foot from kicking in your TV screen.
- TJ