OFF TOPIC: CAKE OR BED?

CAKE OR BED?

THE GENERAL IS AT HOME WATCHING A
FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,

HONEY,
COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY?
IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.

HE LOOK AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY,
FIX THE LIGHTS NOW?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE
GE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO.

FINE,

THEN THE WIFE ASKS,
WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT

TO WHICH HE REPLIED,
FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WESTINGHOUSE
WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO

FINE, SHE SAYS
THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS
TO THE FRONT DOOR?
THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK.

I'M NOT A CARPENTER AND I DON'T
WANT TO FIX STEPS.
HE SAYS, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE
ACE HARDWARE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO.
I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU.
I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!!!

SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A
COUPLE OF HOURS....................................

HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW
HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES
TO GO HOME

AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES
THAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED.

AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE
HALL LIGHT IS WORKING.

AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES
THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.

HONEY, HE ASKS, HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?
SHE SAID, WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT
OUTSIDE AND CRIED.

JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME
WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM.

HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND
ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER
GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE.

HE SAID,
SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE ASKS THE GENERAL?

SHE REPLIED,
HELLOOOOO...

DO YOU SEE BETTY CROCKER WRITTEN
ON MY FOREHEAD?

I DON'T THINK SO! :finger004
 

Blondie

EOG Master
Re: OFF TOPIC: CAKE OR BED?

Did you lose the thesaurus again? You were doing so well, I would hate to see you regress....
 

Katie

EOG Master
Re: OFF TOPIC: CAKE OR BED?

i would hate to bitch slap you again too but you can't always get what you want..:LMAO :LMAO

hey z!
 

Blondie

EOG Master
Re: OFF TOPIC: CAKE OR BED?

Why always with the bitch slap, why not just have a knock down drag out fight and get it over with?
 

Blondie

EOG Master
Re: OFF TOPIC: CAKE OR BED?

No..... actually I am typing. Is the dementia setting in or is it the onset of Alzheimer's.
 

Blondie

EOG Master
Re: OFF TOPIC: CAKE OR BED?

who me.... What you mean when I was sweet and innocent! Well, l still am to those I find intelligent enough to engage in an even remotely interesting conversation with......

It's not my fault you corrupted me.
 

Blondie

EOG Master
Re: OFF TOPIC: CAKE OR BED?

Sorry honey, don't know how to tell you this, but are just not my type. I would prefer someone that is NOT older than my parents!
 

Blondie

EOG Master
Re: OFF TOPIC: CAKE OR BED?

I must be clueless? I have learned clueless is not always a bad thing though..... until one figures out what is going on then there is usually the shock! :LMAO :LMAO
 

Blondie

EOG Master
Re: OFF TOPIC: CAKE OR BED?

OH MAN well let me rephrase my earlier statement to ummmm. Nope. thank you anyhow, but nope.
 
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