If you were the president....
- Thread starter Blondie
- Start date
HotShotHarvey
EOG Veteran
Re: If you were the president....
I would try to put Bush/Cheney in jail for war crimes!!! That's why I think Nancy Pelosi is a traitor, along with Harry Reid!! If Slick Willie can get impeached for lying about a BJ, can't the Commander-in Chief get impeached for , among other things,illegal wire tapping and Abu Gharib??? Tell me how he "defended the constitution" in these two cases?? He even admitted the illegal wire tapping without use of the FISA court, because he said it was in the national interest. What IS in the national interest is having a firing squad end the lives of these 2 un -patriotic traitors!!!
I would try to put Bush/Cheney in jail for war crimes!!! That's why I think Nancy Pelosi is a traitor, along with Harry Reid!! If Slick Willie can get impeached for lying about a BJ, can't the Commander-in Chief get impeached for , among other things,illegal wire tapping and Abu Gharib??? Tell me how he "defended the constitution" in these two cases?? He even admitted the illegal wire tapping without use of the FISA court, because he said it was in the national interest. What IS in the national interest is having a firing squad end the lives of these 2 un -patriotic traitors!!!
Blondie
EOG Master
Re: If you were the president....
So, Harvey instead of tackling any of the other issues at hand you would be more concerned with first ensuring these two were in jail?
While I understand why would want to see them in jail, why would you chose this before the war in Iraq, the dismal state of the US, immigration and the long list of other issues that we are facing?
So, Harvey instead of tackling any of the other issues at hand you would be more concerned with first ensuring these two were in jail?
While I understand why would want to see them in jail, why would you chose this before the war in Iraq, the dismal state of the US, immigration and the long list of other issues that we are facing?
Doc Mercer
EOG Master
Re: If you were the president....
Hotshot has a good point ...
the Perception world wide of America would soar as much as Capone and
Dillinger are hated ...
It aint America they hate right now as much as the Butcher Boys ....
Rove should be in prison right now getting ass raped every nite for what
he did to Valerie Plame and with Siegelman in Alabama .... Rice should be
sitting in a jail cell awaiting War Crime Punishment
The Spirit of this Country would rise dramatically if that was to occur as
Americans feel and are in a helpless situation right now and God bless us
all as a long way to go till January 20
Hotshot has a good point ...
the Perception world wide of America would soar as much as Capone and
Dillinger are hated ...
It aint America they hate right now as much as the Butcher Boys ....
Rove should be in prison right now getting ass raped every nite for what
he did to Valerie Plame and with Siegelman in Alabama .... Rice should be
sitting in a jail cell awaiting War Crime Punishment
The Spirit of this Country would rise dramatically if that was to occur as
Americans feel and are in a helpless situation right now and God bless us
all as a long way to go till January 20
Doc Mercer
EOG Master
Re: If you were the president....
1) Get the troops out of IRAQ asap
2) TALK WITH HUGO CHAVEZ .... Hugo offered Bush $50 MAX on
barrels of Oil and Bush told him to fuck off .... ANWAR aint
the answer as the Max in 25 yrs would be 4-6% of our
Import needs
3) Restore the Constitution
4) Eliminate Bush's tax breaks for Corporations and the Elite Rich
5) 4 billion per week being wasted in Iraq .... create jobs internally
and rebuild bridges, roads, etc
1) Get the troops out of IRAQ asap
2) TALK WITH HUGO CHAVEZ .... Hugo offered Bush $50 MAX on
barrels of Oil and Bush told him to fuck off .... ANWAR aint
the answer as the Max in 25 yrs would be 4-6% of our
Import needs
3) Restore the Constitution
4) Eliminate Bush's tax breaks for Corporations and the Elite Rich
5) 4 billion per week being wasted in Iraq .... create jobs internally
and rebuild bridges, roads, etc
Blondie
EOG Master
Re: If you were the president....
So, Anti how would you go about doing each one of these?
For instance, would you immediately pull all troops out, would you do it in moderation, or would you install a final date for all troops to be removed?
So, Anti how would you go about doing each one of these?
For instance, would you immediately pull all troops out, would you do it in moderation, or would you install a final date for all troops to be removed?
Re: If you were the president....
I'd pull our troops out of the Middle East and work on fortifying our own borders.
The Iraq War is a farce and is doing too much damage to our financial position, morale, and reputation. Fortifying the borders would demonstrate the concern for state security. I will also throw out a memo to my friends in the Middle East that any attack by Muslim extremists on American soil will result in a nuclear attack on Arab soil. No soldiers, no invasion, no diplomacy......just really big, powerful bombs. At some point, someone needs to force the majority of that region to contain the minority.
I'd pull our troops out of the Middle East and work on fortifying our own borders.
The Iraq War is a farce and is doing too much damage to our financial position, morale, and reputation. Fortifying the borders would demonstrate the concern for state security. I will also throw out a memo to my friends in the Middle East that any attack by Muslim extremists on American soil will result in a nuclear attack on Arab soil. No soldiers, no invasion, no diplomacy......just really big, powerful bombs. At some point, someone needs to force the majority of that region to contain the minority.
Doc Mercer
EOG Master
Re: If you were the president....
Iraq ... get on the Horn .... tell the Generals that "Mission has been
Accomplished" and start the ball moving forward to get our shit and
kids out of there as quick as humanly possible .... Clarke or Webb as
My Sect of Defv would be given a sweet and short order: GET THIS
NITEMARE OVER ASAP ... IF YOU CANT HANDLE IT ... LET ME KNOW
UP FRONT
I would fly Chavez in for a weekend .... tell him the truth about the last
7 yrs and apologize for Bush's comments and actions .... Chavez sits on
the 2nd largest oil reserves in the world ..... APPEASE HIM ... DAMN
RIGHT I WOULD FOR THE SAKE OF THIS COUNTRY
Iraq ... get on the Horn .... tell the Generals that "Mission has been
Accomplished" and start the ball moving forward to get our shit and
kids out of there as quick as humanly possible .... Clarke or Webb as
My Sect of Defv would be given a sweet and short order: GET THIS
NITEMARE OVER ASAP ... IF YOU CANT HANDLE IT ... LET ME KNOW
UP FRONT
I would fly Chavez in for a weekend .... tell him the truth about the last
7 yrs and apologize for Bush's comments and actions .... Chavez sits on
the 2nd largest oil reserves in the world ..... APPEASE HIM ... DAMN
RIGHT I WOULD FOR THE SAKE OF THIS COUNTRY
Blondie
EOG Master
Re: If you were the president....
Anti, there are times in life where appeasing a person is the right thing to do. When one outweighs the good and the bad of a situation and there is more good in appeasing then by all means go for it :cheers
Anti, there are times in life where appeasing a person is the right thing to do. When one outweighs the good and the bad of a situation and there is more good in appeasing then by all means go for it :cheers
Blondie
EOG Master
Re: If you were the president....
Remind me to never piss you off What's! :+textinb3
Remind me to never piss you off What's! :+textinb3
Re: If you were the president....
End the war(s) now, return to diplomacy, restore the Constitution.
End the war(s) now, return to diplomacy, restore the Constitution.
Blondie
EOG Master
Doc Mercer
EOG Master
Re: If you were the president....
Do you think invading the Middle East has deterred the terrorists? I don't. At some point, you have to rely on them to police their own area and having a legitimate threat should do that.
Do you think invading the Middle East has deterred the terrorists? I don't. At some point, you have to rely on them to police their own area and having a legitimate threat should do that.
Re: If you were the president....
Blondie,
What would you do first if you were president?
Blondie,
What would you do first if you were president?
Blondie
EOG Master
Re: If you were the president....
I do not think it has deterred the terrorists one damn bit! I think we have wasted eormous amounts of money on a useless war that has achieved nothing but the beginning of what can/might crush the United States as we know it.
IMO we can not even take care of the issues we have here in our own country, and who the hell are we and what right do we have to police anyone else. Do we really think we can do better with their country than we have our own?
I do not think it has deterred the terrorists one damn bit! I think we have wasted eormous amounts of money on a useless war that has achieved nothing but the beginning of what can/might crush the United States as we know it.
IMO we can not even take care of the issues we have here in our own country, and who the hell are we and what right do we have to police anyone else. Do we really think we can do better with their country than we have our own?
Doc Mercer
EOG Master
Re: If you were the president....
Blondie would
1) Hire Stucco as VP
2) Hire Diggin as SOS
3) Hire DimeDR as "Video" Consultant
4) Hire Nicolas as Diplomat to the Arab World
Blondie would
1) Hire Stucco as VP
2) Hire Diggin as SOS
3) Hire DimeDR as "Video" Consultant
4) Hire Nicolas as Diplomat to the Arab World
Rxx
EOG Veteran
Re: If you were the president....
1. institute the Biden plan for an exit strategy from Iraq.
2. Rewrite the Patriot Act to disallow wiretaps on those w/o probable cause.
3. Institute a flat tax and eliminate the tax protection of US based companies with shell corporations located in foreign countries.
4. Repeal Medicare Part D
5. Stop deficit spending and begin paying off the war debt to China.
6. Invest in infrastructure- fixing bridges, dams etc, create incentives to cities to fix water and sewer decay.
Thats a good start.
1. institute the Biden plan for an exit strategy from Iraq.
2. Rewrite the Patriot Act to disallow wiretaps on those w/o probable cause.
3. Institute a flat tax and eliminate the tax protection of US based companies with shell corporations located in foreign countries.
4. Repeal Medicare Part D
5. Stop deficit spending and begin paying off the war debt to China.
6. Invest in infrastructure- fixing bridges, dams etc, create incentives to cities to fix water and sewer decay.
Thats a good start.
Blondie
EOG Master
Re: If you were the president....
Make Jimmy Hoffa my vice president
After that, the first thing I would do would be to have a press conference and state to not only the American public but to other countries that while we do not mind assisting them in times of need, we first need to take care of our own country before we can fully help others. Which would include removing any unnecessary troops from other countries, decreasing unnecessary foreign aid, etc.
To me we are the mother that works endlessly trying to perfect their children, only to realize down the road that she failed to take care of herself. She usually finds this out when she is suffering from illnesses that could have been prevented if she had only stopped and realized that to take care of others she must first and foremost take care of herself.
What would you do Mr. Hoffa?
Make Jimmy Hoffa my vice president
After that, the first thing I would do would be to have a press conference and state to not only the American public but to other countries that while we do not mind assisting them in times of need, we first need to take care of our own country before we can fully help others. Which would include removing any unnecessary troops from other countries, decreasing unnecessary foreign aid, etc.
To me we are the mother that works endlessly trying to perfect their children, only to realize down the road that she failed to take care of herself. She usually finds this out when she is suffering from illnesses that could have been prevented if she had only stopped and realized that to take care of others she must first and foremost take care of herself.
What would you do Mr. Hoffa?
Blondie
EOG Master
Re: If you were the president....
Not quite
Hoffa as VP
Diggin as Public Relations (he is really good at telling everyone to F' off as needed :LMAO
Anti - I would give you the special job of guarding Bush and Cheney :cocktail
Not quite
Hoffa as VP
Diggin as Public Relations (he is really good at telling everyone to F' off as needed :LMAO
Anti - I would give you the special job of guarding Bush and Cheney :cocktail
Re: If you were the president....
:+clueless Very curious about this one Rxx. Although the D plans are somewhat new and not perfect, this program is 100% better than the non-existing Medicare prescription drug coverage that preceeded it.
Well that's certainly a good start...
Re: If you were the president....
I would clean house, appoint Ron Paul as V.P., Joe Biden as S.O.S., Denis Kucinich as Sec. of domestic affairs.....so on and so on, surround myself with patriots, start a withdraw of troops worldwide, end foreign aid, focus on strengthening the U.S. NAVY, invest in America, close the borders until this mess is straitened out and we can see where we stand, return states rights, stop the war on drugs as it currently stands.
Above is what I would do the first day, I would most likely be assassinated the second day.
I would clean house, appoint Ron Paul as V.P., Joe Biden as S.O.S., Denis Kucinich as Sec. of domestic affairs.....so on and so on, surround myself with patriots, start a withdraw of troops worldwide, end foreign aid, focus on strengthening the U.S. NAVY, invest in America, close the borders until this mess is straitened out and we can see where we stand, return states rights, stop the war on drugs as it currently stands.
Above is what I would do the first day, I would most likely be assassinated the second day.
Blondie
EOG Master
Re: If you were the president....
:doh1 You are probably right :LMAO
Then again, I would be too
:doh1 You are probably right :LMAO
Then again, I would be too
Doc Mercer
EOG Master
Re: If you were the president....
The Drudge Report recently carried a short exchange between Britney Spears and Tucker Carlson on CNN from Wednesday, September 3, 2003:
The Drudge Report recently carried a short exchange between Britney Spears and Tucker Carlson on CNN from Wednesday, September 3, 2003:
CARLSON: A lot of entertainers have come out against the war in Iraq. Have you?
SPEARS: Honestly, I think we should just trust our Vice President Jimmy Hoffa in every decision that he makes and we should just support that, you know, and be faithful in what happens.
CARLSON: Do you trust Vice President Hoffa?
SPEARS: Yes, I do.
CARLSON: Excellent.
SPEARS: Honestly, I think we should just trust our Vice President Jimmy Hoffa in every decision that he makes and we should just support that, you know, and be faithful in what happens.
CARLSON: Do you trust Vice President Hoffa?
SPEARS: Yes, I do.
CARLSON: Excellent.
Blondie
EOG Master
Re: If you were the president....
:LMAO:LMAO:LMAO Imagine the confusion amongst school children when asked on a test who is Jimmy Hoffa?
:LMAO:LMAO:LMAO Imagine the confusion amongst school children when asked on a test who is Jimmy Hoffa?
Doc Mercer
EOG Master
Re: If you were the president....
Jimmy Hoffa ... The Notorious VP
Jimmy Hoffa ... The Notorious VP
Rxx
EOG Veteran
Re: If you were the president....
JH- Part D is a helpful program, its just that i think that the future obligations of the country to Medicare A and B, as well as Social Security makes the RX program a luxury we cant afford. In Sonoma County CA, it is very difficult to find a physician taking new medicare patients because the reimbursement is so poor. They will only take on patients when current ones die and you are on a waiting list until that happens.
Part D was written by the lobbyists for the PMA (Pharm. Mfr Assoc). If it were to be rewriten to only play for generic drugs, the cost would probably drop by 70% and be alot more affordable.
JH- Part D is a helpful program, its just that i think that the future obligations of the country to Medicare A and B, as well as Social Security makes the RX program a luxury we cant afford. In Sonoma County CA, it is very difficult to find a physician taking new medicare patients because the reimbursement is so poor. They will only take on patients when current ones die and you are on a waiting list until that happens.
Part D was written by the lobbyists for the PMA (Pharm. Mfr Assoc). If it were to be rewriten to only play for generic drugs, the cost would probably drop by 70% and be alot more affordable.
cassiusclay
EOG Master
HotShotHarvey
EOG Veteran
Re: If you were the president....
Blondie-lighten up! As Pres-I'm a multi-tasking SOB! I can handle impeachment AND getting the troops out, one batallion at a time-until that asshole puppet, Al-Malaki finally understands we're pulling out, little-by-little-and that he better get down with a new constitution and reconciliation with the Sunnis! At the same time-I send those troops into Afghanistan-where our real enemies are. Is THAT ok,Condi,er,ah,Blondie???
Blondie-lighten up! As Pres-I'm a multi-tasking SOB! I can handle impeachment AND getting the troops out, one batallion at a time-until that asshole puppet, Al-Malaki finally understands we're pulling out, little-by-little-and that he better get down with a new constitution and reconciliation with the Sunnis! At the same time-I send those troops into Afghanistan-where our real enemies are. Is THAT ok,Condi,er,ah,Blondie???
HotShotHarvey
EOG Veteran
Re: If you were the president....
Hey---Condi----Blondie----get it ?it Rhymes!!!
Hey---Condi----Blondie----get it ?it Rhymes!!!
Blondie
EOG Master
Re: If you were the president....
:LMAO:LMAO:LMAO There ya go.
Didn't know men could multi-task. Have yet to meet one that can do it successfully
Good save :LMAO :LMAO :LMAO
:LMAO:LMAO:LMAO There ya go.
Didn't know men could multi-task. Have yet to meet one that can do it successfully
Good save :LMAO :LMAO :LMAO
Re: If you were the president....
Drug costs are ridiculous, I've heard that since the drug companies have been allowed to advertise on TV the profits have gone through the roof as patients are now telling their doctors, "I want to try this, and this and this..."
Agreed that Medicare reimbursment is too low for the quality care that receipients deserve. Sonoma County is a little unique as it's a $$ enviornment there and doctors have the luxury of only going for the bucks, probably not as true across the country...
Drug costs are ridiculous, I've heard that since the drug companies have been allowed to advertise on TV the profits have gone through the roof as patients are now telling their doctors, "I want to try this, and this and this..."
Rxx
EOG Veteran
Re: If you were the president....
This is exactly correct. I think that the funniest one i saw recently is for Abilify. This drug is for treating bipolar disorder and other major psychotic disorder. You just know that people w/o mental diseases are going in and telling their doctors that they know they need Abilify.
This is exactly correct. I think that the funniest one i saw recently is for Abilify. This drug is for treating bipolar disorder and other major psychotic disorder. You just know that people w/o mental diseases are going in and telling their doctors that they know they need Abilify.
Re: If you were the president....
Right.
It's the Oprah crowd that eats this stuff up. You seem to know your meds, do you work in the industry?
Also, how long does a new drug have an exclusive until generics are allowed and the prices drop?
Right.
It's the Oprah crowd that eats this stuff up. You seem to know your meds, do you work in the industry?
Also, how long does a new drug have an exclusive until generics are allowed and the prices drop?
Rxx
EOG Veteran
Re: If you were the president....
Yes, i am a pharmacist and own two pharmacies in Santa Rosa, CA.
A drug patent lasts for 20 years, though there is also designated exclusivity associated with different types of drugs if they are orphan drugs or new chemical entities. Note, though, that is from the time the chemical is invented, not when brought to market. The average time from the invention of the chemical entity to market is now about 15 years and costs about 1 billiion dollars. About 1 in 10,000 chemical inventions make it to market.
Yes, i am a pharmacist and own two pharmacies in Santa Rosa, CA.
A drug patent lasts for 20 years, though there is also designated exclusivity associated with different types of drugs if they are orphan drugs or new chemical entities. Note, though, that is from the time the chemical is invented, not when brought to market. The average time from the invention of the chemical entity to market is now about 15 years and costs about 1 billiion dollars. About 1 in 10,000 chemical inventions make it to market.
cassiusclay
EOG Master
Re: If you were the president....
the drug company's disclaimers are longer than any info they give about the drug. who in their right mind would want to try a drug that has a disclaimer like this:
SIDE EFFECTS: This drug may cause joint pain, nausea, head-ache, or shortness of breath. You may also experience muscle aches, rapid heartbeat, and ringing in the ears. If you feel faint, call your doctor. Do not consume alcohol while taking this pill; likewise, avoid red meat, shellfish, and vegetables. O.K. foods: flounder. Under no circumstances eat yak. Men can expect painful urination while sitting, especially if the penis is caught between the toilet seat and the bowl. Projectile vomiting is common in thirty per cent of users-sorry, fifty per cent. If you undergo disorienting nausea accompanied by migraine and raspy breathing, double the dosage. Leg cramps are to be expected; one knee-buckler per day is normal. Bowel movements may become frequent-in fact, every ten minutes. If bowel movements become greater than twelve per hour, consult your doctor, or any doctor, or just anyone who will speak to you. You may find yourself becoming lost or vague; this would be a good time to write a screenplay. Do not pilot a plane, unless you are among the ten per cent of users who experience "spontaneous test-pilot knowledge." If your hair begins to smell like burning tires, move away from any buildings or populated areas, and apply tincture of iodine to the head until you no longer hear what could be taken for a "countdown." May cause stigmata in Mexicans. If a fungus starts to grow between your eyebrows, call the Guinness Book of World Records. May induce a tendency to compulsively repeat the phrase "no can do." This drug may cause visions of the Virgin Mary to appear in treetops. If this happens, open a souvenir shop. There may be an overwhelming impulse to shout out during a Catholic Mass, "I'm gonna wop you wid da ugly stick!" You may feel a powerful sense of impending doom; this is because you are about to die. Men may experience impotence, but only during intercourse. Otherwise, a powerful erection will accompany your daily "walking-around time." Do not take this product if you are uneasy with lockjaw. Do not be near a ringing telephone that works at 900 MHz or you will be very dead, very fast. We are assuming you have had chicken pox. You also may experience a growing dissatisfaction with life along with a deep sense of melancholy-join the club! Do not be concerned if you arouse a few ticks from a Geiger counter. You might want to get a one-month trial subscription to Extreme Fighting. The hook shape of the pill will often cause it to become caught in the larynx. To remove, jam a finger down your throat while a friend holds your nose to prevent the pill from lodging in a nasal passage. Then throw yourself stomach first on the back portion of a chair. The expulsion of air should eject the pill out of the mouth, unless it goes into a sinus cavity, or the brain. WARNING: This drug may shorten your intestines by twenty-one feet. Has been known to cause birth defects in the user retroactively. Passing in front of TV may cause the screen to moir?. Women often feel a loss of libido, including a woo-octave lowering of the voice, an increase in ankle hair, and perhaps the lowering of a testicle. If this happens, women should write a detailed description of their last three sexual encounters and mail it to me, Bob, Trailer Six, Fancyland Trailer Park, Encino, CA. Or E-mail me at hot-guy.com. Discontinue use immediately if you feel that your teeth are receiving radio broadcasts. You may experience "lumpy back" syndrome, but we are actively seeking a cure. Bloated fingertips on the heart-side hand are common. When finished with the dosage, be sure to allow plenty of "quiet time" in order to retrain the eye to move off stationary objects. Flotation devices at sea will become pointless, as the user of this drug will develop a stone-like body density; therefore, if thrown overboard, contact your doctor. (This product may contain one or more of the following: bungee cord, plankton, rubber, crack cocaine, pork bladders, aromatic oils, gunpowder, corn husk, glue, bee pollen, dung, English muffin, poached eggs, ham, Hollandaise sauce, crushed saxophone reeds.) Sensations of levitation are illusory, as is the sensatino of having a "phantom" third arm. Users may experience certain inversions of language. Acceptable: "Hi, are how you?" Unacceptable: "The rain in Sprain slays blainly on the phsssst." Twenty minutes after taking the pills, you will feel an insatiable craving to take another dose. AVOID THIS WITH ALL YOUR POWER. It is advisable to have a friend handcuff you to a large kitchen appliance, ESPECIALLY ONE THAT WILL NOT FIT THROUGH THE DOORWAY TO WHERE THE PILLS ARE. You should also be out of reach of any weapon-like utensil with which you could threaten friends or family, who should also be briefed to not give you the pills, no matter how much you sweet-talk them.
(courtesy of steve martin)
the drug company's disclaimers are longer than any info they give about the drug. who in their right mind would want to try a drug that has a disclaimer like this:
SIDE EFFECTS: This drug may cause joint pain, nausea, head-ache, or shortness of breath. You may also experience muscle aches, rapid heartbeat, and ringing in the ears. If you feel faint, call your doctor. Do not consume alcohol while taking this pill; likewise, avoid red meat, shellfish, and vegetables. O.K. foods: flounder. Under no circumstances eat yak. Men can expect painful urination while sitting, especially if the penis is caught between the toilet seat and the bowl. Projectile vomiting is common in thirty per cent of users-sorry, fifty per cent. If you undergo disorienting nausea accompanied by migraine and raspy breathing, double the dosage. Leg cramps are to be expected; one knee-buckler per day is normal. Bowel movements may become frequent-in fact, every ten minutes. If bowel movements become greater than twelve per hour, consult your doctor, or any doctor, or just anyone who will speak to you. You may find yourself becoming lost or vague; this would be a good time to write a screenplay. Do not pilot a plane, unless you are among the ten per cent of users who experience "spontaneous test-pilot knowledge." If your hair begins to smell like burning tires, move away from any buildings or populated areas, and apply tincture of iodine to the head until you no longer hear what could be taken for a "countdown." May cause stigmata in Mexicans. If a fungus starts to grow between your eyebrows, call the Guinness Book of World Records. May induce a tendency to compulsively repeat the phrase "no can do." This drug may cause visions of the Virgin Mary to appear in treetops. If this happens, open a souvenir shop. There may be an overwhelming impulse to shout out during a Catholic Mass, "I'm gonna wop you wid da ugly stick!" You may feel a powerful sense of impending doom; this is because you are about to die. Men may experience impotence, but only during intercourse. Otherwise, a powerful erection will accompany your daily "walking-around time." Do not take this product if you are uneasy with lockjaw. Do not be near a ringing telephone that works at 900 MHz or you will be very dead, very fast. We are assuming you have had chicken pox. You also may experience a growing dissatisfaction with life along with a deep sense of melancholy-join the club! Do not be concerned if you arouse a few ticks from a Geiger counter. You might want to get a one-month trial subscription to Extreme Fighting. The hook shape of the pill will often cause it to become caught in the larynx. To remove, jam a finger down your throat while a friend holds your nose to prevent the pill from lodging in a nasal passage. Then throw yourself stomach first on the back portion of a chair. The expulsion of air should eject the pill out of the mouth, unless it goes into a sinus cavity, or the brain. WARNING: This drug may shorten your intestines by twenty-one feet. Has been known to cause birth defects in the user retroactively. Passing in front of TV may cause the screen to moir?. Women often feel a loss of libido, including a woo-octave lowering of the voice, an increase in ankle hair, and perhaps the lowering of a testicle. If this happens, women should write a detailed description of their last three sexual encounters and mail it to me, Bob, Trailer Six, Fancyland Trailer Park, Encino, CA. Or E-mail me at hot-guy.com. Discontinue use immediately if you feel that your teeth are receiving radio broadcasts. You may experience "lumpy back" syndrome, but we are actively seeking a cure. Bloated fingertips on the heart-side hand are common. When finished with the dosage, be sure to allow plenty of "quiet time" in order to retrain the eye to move off stationary objects. Flotation devices at sea will become pointless, as the user of this drug will develop a stone-like body density; therefore, if thrown overboard, contact your doctor. (This product may contain one or more of the following: bungee cord, plankton, rubber, crack cocaine, pork bladders, aromatic oils, gunpowder, corn husk, glue, bee pollen, dung, English muffin, poached eggs, ham, Hollandaise sauce, crushed saxophone reeds.) Sensations of levitation are illusory, as is the sensatino of having a "phantom" third arm. Users may experience certain inversions of language. Acceptable: "Hi, are how you?" Unacceptable: "The rain in Sprain slays blainly on the phsssst." Twenty minutes after taking the pills, you will feel an insatiable craving to take another dose. AVOID THIS WITH ALL YOUR POWER. It is advisable to have a friend handcuff you to a large kitchen appliance, ESPECIALLY ONE THAT WILL NOT FIT THROUGH THE DOORWAY TO WHERE THE PILLS ARE. You should also be out of reach of any weapon-like utensil with which you could threaten friends or family, who should also be briefed to not give you the pills, no matter how much you sweet-talk them.
(courtesy of steve martin)
S
stucco43
Guest
Re: If you were the president....
get rid of the federal reserve,...have the treasury print the usa money...
then go after all the bullshit free trade agreements...
get rid of the federal reserve,...have the treasury print the usa money...
then go after all the bullshit free trade agreements...