Why do women stay with men

Journeyman

EOG Master
Re: Why do women stay with men

a lot of times money and the false sense of security...some have been controlled so long they need to be controlled to feel worth something.
 

OMNIVOROUS FROG

EOG Master
Re: Why do women stay with men

They don't. They end of divorcing them and get the ultimate payback by taking all of thier stuff.


OF...:+waving-5
 

RageWizard

EOG Senior Member
Re: Why do women stay with men

I know of one who stayed with her man even after getting beaten a couple of times for the kids sake and for the simple fact that her mother said that she couldn't take the stigma of having a daugther with a divorce.
 

OMNIVOROUS FROG

EOG Master
Re: Why do women stay with men

I never would have thought Travis was mean and controlling. Just does not come across that way in the forums. Hopefully he has enough $ to make it tolerable.

Appropriate cliche: Guess you never know.


OF...:+waving-5
 
Re: Why do women stay with men

The other half is "Why do men stay with women who.........."


The answer is 50%
:+textinb3

One other reason women stay is fear.
Whether for their safety or many other reasons of being alone.
 
Re: Why do women stay with men

love the shrink version.

I do think $ plays a big part.

Whether you like it or not, we are influenced by two main entities, genes and environment...

Many women who choose "controlling" men as boyfriends/husbands do so unconsciously. Quite often, these women have had a parent (usually a Father figure but it doesn't have to be) who was domineering and controlling to them throughout most of their lives. In a perverse way, the women are comfortable in this environment even though consciously, they may even recognize it is dysfunctional...

The reason they stay is once again on a subconscious level. They believe that in some way they can "fix" these men and create a "happy" ending to their miserable childhood.

Needless to say, this doesn't work out well at all and quite often, these same women put up with so much more that goes with 'control' such as emotional, mental and even physical abuse...

THE SHRINK
 
Re: Why do women stay with men

Whether you like it or not, we are influenced by two main entities, genes and environment...
Many women who choose "controlling" men as boyfriends/husbands do so unconsciously. Quite often, these women have had a parent (usually a Father figure but it doesn't have to be) who was domineering and controlling to them throughout most of their lives. In a perverse way, the women are comfortable in this environment even though consciously, they may even recognize it is dysfunctional...

The reason they stay is once again on a subconscious level. They believe that in some way they can "fix" these men and create a "happy" ending to their miserable childhood.

Needless to say, this doesn't work out well at all and quite often, these same women put up with so much more that goes with 'control' such as emotional, mental and even physical abuse...

THE SHRINK


Almost like you know what you are talking about. 12io4j2w90

AMEN.

Zai Gazunt.
 

RageWizard

EOG Senior Member
Re: Why do women stay with men

I don't really know but I will ask the ol' lady abut it tonight and give the answer tomorrow.

Swede, you ex must have been John Stamos or someone like that.
 
Re: Why do women stay with men

Lol...no...I wqs young and the guy could talk a starving dog off a meat wagon. He wasn't all bad...just insecure, so he felt the need to put me down. For the record: neither of my parents were controlling at all.
 

OMNIVOROUS FROG

EOG Master
Re: Why do women stay with men

Insecurity.

Emotional abuse.

Denial.

There are many reasons.

#1 reason? Lack of or low self esteem.

Most are repeat offenders also. They fall out of one abusive relationship into another. They may deny it, but in all reality they think they deserve it, or cannot do any better. If they did not feel that way they would not stay for long.


OF...:cheers
 

OMNIVOROUS FROG

EOG Master
Re: Why do women stay with men

I stayed with one because he had me convinced that I couldn't do any better.

Bingo, I said same thing in my post before reading this. The source of these feelings could be from anywhere, but that is it. He painted you into a low self esteem picture. And you were convinced. So in this case it was the guy himself.

OF...:cheers
 
Re: Why do women stay with men

Sounds to me like the only reasons a woman stays with a man are that she has some calculating ulterior advantage to do so or suffers from some deep-seated psychobabble flaw that compels her to stay.

Could "She just likes the guy" possibly be an answer?
 
Re: Why do women stay with men

Sounds to me like the only reasons a woman stays with a man are that she has some calculating ulterior advantage to do so or suffers from some deep-seated psychobabble flaw that compels her to stay.

Could "She just likes the guy" possibly be an answer?

Very few people I know enjoy being controlled or abused...:nono

Most will admit they want out but they don't leave...
 

MRSOSUCOWBOYS

EOG Addicted
Re: Why do women stay with men

Sounds to me like the only reasons a woman stays with a man are that she has some calculating ulterior advantage to do so or suffers from some deep-seated psychobabble flaw that compels her to stay.

Could "She just likes the guy" possibly be an answer?

I think they do like the guy. But in most times the BAD out weighs the good.
 
Re: Why do women stay with men

Very few people I know enjoy being controlled or abused...:nono

But Jeff is right. The abuse/control strenghtens the like/love of abusee to the abuser. That's why I stated cognitive dissonance as the #1 reason. Example:

Woman's subconcious thought:

1) This guy is controlling abusive and mean
2) This guy is controlling abusive and mean and I'm with him
3) If I'm with a guy that is controlling abusive and mean, that must mean I really, really love him

And it's not easy to break this. Anybody that knows any woman w/ battered wife syndrome knows how impossible it is to talk her out of the relationship, and how much they profess thier love for their partner.
 

RageWizard

EOG Senior Member
Re: Why do women stay with men

My very own wife comes from an very controlling and mentally abusive household as a mennonite kid. Yeah that's right no electricity and no female thoughts of her own. It has taken maybe 13 years of our 16 year marriage to get her to think for herself. I guess they get brainwashed into thinking that they aren't worth shit without a guy there to tell them what to do and how to think. Thankfully women can break out of the cycle if they apply themselves.
 

NoNewbieca

EOG Dedicated
Re: Why do women stay with men

In my mind, it's fear of the unknown. Fear of being alone. Fear of having to take on life by yourself. It is about confidence. Throw a kid or two in there and you add to the complexity and the money becomes a more crucial factor.

Sweded said:
I stayed with one because he had me convinced that I couldn't do any better.

It boggles the mind really how someone so together and with it can feel this way about herself by what some guy says. If Sweded can feel that way, it's no wonder many more women fall prey to this thinking.
 

Angelsfire

EOG Dedicated
Re: Why do women stay with men

I am sure they do, and or think they love them. One might ask this Question then. Which one is sicker ?
On one hand you have a women that loves so deeply that she puts up with anything, and everything. What dose it say about a man, that dose this to a women, that he knows loves him so much?
Furthermore, He says he loves her too. Is it true, that Love hurts?
Is it the difference between, what you want verses, what you need ?
I hope your friend, and her man if they love each other get help . But both need help ,if they are to stay together. Love can heal too IMO
 

Flamingo kid

Everybody's hands go UP!
Re: Why do women stay with men

its basically low self esteem and those women don't feel they deserve better. They were raised thinking that they are pieces of trash and when the guy is mean to them, they actually feel that its justified.

Then the guy says he's sorry and gives her a few i love you babys and whatnut and she forgives him.

also, and i know of a woman who's in a relationship that's bad (dont know any specifics, but i dont think he beats her, its just verbal abuse stuff) and she stays with him because he has money, they have a kid, a nice house, etc. and she doesnt want to lose that and start over in the big bad world all alone. She's actually smart and works a job, so she can get out of this situation if she wants to.....just not sure why she keeps staying there.
 
Re: Why do women stay with men

Please forgive me babe. I will try harder!! I just get SOOOOOO jealous. It's cuz I love you SOOOO much. Please come home.
 

IGAMBLER

EOG Addicted
Re: Why do women stay with men

Methinks it's lack of an education,which severely limits the woman's options.
My daughters are college-educated, and I am pretty sure they would not put up with some crappy human being beating them up. Also lack of spunk and gumption on the part of some women.
 
Re: Why do women stay with men

It boggles the mind really how someone so together and with it can feel this way about herself by what some guy says. If Sweded can feel that way, it's no wonder many more women fall prey to this thinking.

I started dating him when I was 17. I was just a kid.
 
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