Re: American Idol 2009- Season 8 Thread and Discussion
Did I just spend two hours watching that? I don't know how to think of that night. Either Adam and the 11 ants, or you thought you picked a bad song, watch me.
First is my little back gal of the night Jasmine. Starting off on the rail, will be forgotten by show's end if she does not dazzle. Starts off night with terrible song choice. Does not butcher it, but does not fit her at all. She needed to standout with competitive black girl after her. Did not do that either. But sat the deaf tone for a long and miserable night.
Matt Giraud dark horse. Forgot his keyboard, his talent, his golden ticket, everything. He went from dark horse to pack mule in one performance. Keeping in theme, picked a horrible song, for him. Get soulful, take chances, how can you watch last week and not get it. Well I like that song. Good you can sing it to yourself in your own shower in your own home you are going back to.
Jeanine the old bartender. Hey I have great legs. But please don't listen to my singing. Haley Scarnato would be proud. But had meatier legs. Bartenders stand up a lot, but don't sing. Bad song choice, bad performance, even the girl judges had to comment on legs to have something nice to say. Gives Jasmine a chance to survive as she was the worst black chick.
Nick Norman Bates. Clowns it up, one of the best buffoons to ever make it this far. However he may have peaked. Was all over the place, not as funny as before. It's like, I saw the spazz act the first time, and each time it gets less funny. Would not matter if he picked the wrong song or not, you probably could not tell. Said his rehearsals went much better, or the acoustics were off. That might account for everyone stinkin it up so far.
Hi, I'm Allison, I could be a dumb blonde, and I went moronic strawberry. Vote for me. Oops, I forgot to sing. But I really can't, I'll pick a song from an idol star, they will have to like my screaming tribute version of it. Maybe not. Allison, walk up in front of the cannon.
Half way point. How is the Clipper game going, staying under. I have to piss. Was that the worst hour of my life watching tv? Has Paula relapsed? Too many happy pills for her. Glassy eyed, slurred speech, erratic behavior. Her bangs can't cover the I'm wasted look. Rambles, forgets where she is, sneezes on Simon. Maybe she did a line in her dressing room. Does not matter, her contract is up after this season. Her replacement is there, who wears less makeup each week. No tacky jewelry. Coherent. Paula, can you pee in this cup please. I get my courage up to finish what I started, no matter how painful it is.
Kris, I think that was his name, not sure don't remember seeing him before. Must have missed his microsecond of fame Idol producers alloted him. Didn't miss much, he was serviceable. But I see why they excluded him, I dozed off during his performance. What was your name again?
Megan unveils the tat of tatts. She must be friends with Carly Plant and tattoed hubby. Why would a cute mom babe like that get a tatt like that? Is that why she is a single mom? She could sing, and a decent song. Who knows, maybe the cute blonde factor will carry her on theis trainwreck of a night.
Just when I think it could not get any worse, Man's Man II is up. Welder man instead of roughneck. But we already have a working man in the top12. Don't need two. He sings the entire song monotone, one note at a time. It drags for yers. I feel my extremities going numb, lapse into a coma. Boring would be too kind. Eight bums out, 4 to go.
Drunken driver alert. Always good to have preexisting baggage to shorten your stay. Sings a bizarre song, but can sing. Has this weird drunk driver look, the kind you see before they run you over and say oops. She is memorable, but not in a good way. Did wake me up though. 9 contestants, zero talent. I see why they put Adam last. Stay tuned for someone who can sing.
Kai Mahalo adopted chaka bra. Terminal mom made nice recovery to make it to audience. Maybe he is love child from coconut farmer on Hawaiian vacation. He sings a song from the 40's 0r 50's. Guess he ruled out Clementine. He too, goes super safe takes zero chances. Should have sang the alphabet song. No one used the word current or taking risks after his performance. The epitome of wrong song choice. And I thought it could not get worse. It did with him.
Dobie's kiss of death dog bite Missagonna. Just another of the forgettable brunette horde. Not the best song choice, but not horrendous either. When they have to compliment you on your outfit, your going home. That is worse than Dobie liking you. Acts like a 50 year old lady. Stiff, unexcitied, milquetoast. No wonder she gets no pimpage, she would also put viewers to sleep. Gonna.
Adam theatrical Lambast is here at last, in the official Idol you won't forget to vote for me pimp slot. Takes on Jaggar and Stones, a bit risky. Acts like a dicklicker from opening to end, even flicking out tongue and acting like the flame is on full blast. He can sing, he can preform and boy does he have range. There is a reason Idol seperated him from just Hokey Gokey. He had talent, on a night when there was none. Finally something to cheer about. Drugs wearing off on Paula, that was not a two hour fix. She's watching the Adam Lambert concert or something. Let me go donw to the methadone clinic and get a translator.
The worst show, ever, by far. Only one person should go on to the final 12. That is why this new format is fucked up. You are going to get the second and third top vote getters moving on to top12. I can't think of who those two would even be. There were two or three in the first 12 that were way better than any of the back 11 this show. Tell you one thing, the girls are a disaster this season. My little pink and blondie is looking stronger by the show.
Best Wishes...OF :+waving-5
While we didn't want to hurt his chances in the competition by scaring the fundie frauen away from him, Adam Lambert apparently has tons of photos of himself making out with some dude online that were posted on our message board. So for the idiots who somehow think this guy is not gay, Adam Lambert is gay. Total future VFTW pick because he's going to completely scare off the tween girl and bored housewife vote eventually (which really is a smart career move when you see how they ruin careers like Clay Aiken's). 
