OT: I could kill my mother's f'en neighbor!

Okay, this is the story, my mother is an alcoholic and is a HUGE binge drinker, if she gets into a binge, she will not stop until she knocks herself out if she has access to enough alcohol to do so and my mother's neighbor is the same caliber of alcoholic except she brings in the heavy artillery while my mother tends to stick to Budweisers and several years ago, my mother was at this neighbor's party and at the end of the party after my mother drowned herself into the next millennium with my neighbor's heavy artillery, the neighbor had some guy friend take her back home and she says he tried to take off her clothes and rape her in her building's elevator but she then said she couldn't remember if that was the case or not.

So now she goes to this same neighbor's apartment for another party which is more or less a binge drinking party and she incapacitates herself the same way as the time mentioned above and the neighbor sends one of her male friends to fetch me and I have to find another neighbor to help me get her into the apartment and lay her on her bed and my mother is her usual verbally abusive self when intoxicated just like when I was a kid when her alcoholism led me into deep depression, Foster Care, etc. saying I hope someone puts a bullet in your head, etc. until she passed out.

I have respectfully asked this neighbor not to invite my mother or expose my mother to alcohol and even more so now that my mother has high blood pressure and if she does, to have my mother spend the night with her instead of fetching me to help her back to her apartment.ends one of her friends to fetch me to help her back to her apartment but she refuses on all levels.
 

Tuckman

Uh Poster
Re: OT: I could kill my mother's f'en neighbor!

its tough man, alcohol is one of the worst drugs out there..
 
Re: OT: I could kill my mother's f'en neighbor!

Sorry to hear that mikey, is there any way you could talk her into moving?

I have tried that but the problem with that is that she gets subsidized housing so any move would have to be approved by the housing bureaucrats and that carries a shit load of crap and my mother won't go to sort out all the bureaucratic nonsense so scenarios like that don't suit my mother, any move would have to be a swift one.

I have family members who could help very easily help but they just choose not to.
 
Re: OT: I could kill my mother's f'en neighbor!

anywho, where did you bury the guy that tried to rape her?

POS ran off about 3 minutes before I got there and ran back to the shelter where he was/is residing across the street from my mother's apartment building which has a heavy NYPD presence as there have been numerous shootouts among other things there.
 

winkyduck

TYVM Morgan William!!!
Re: OT: I could kill my mother's f'en neighbor!

You might not like to hear this , but.............

Your mother is Old enough to take care of herself. I agree she probably does a less than stellar job of it at times but until she admits she has a problem there is nothing you can do to help her. Someone who doesn't want help - can't be help. I will say if she has subsidized housing it means her income is not at a high level and it sounds like most of what she has left over is alcohol. Once again you might not like hearing this but it sound slike the ONLY way things will get better is if you have her move in with you and make her aware of the fact she has a problem and tell her NO alcohol

Wish ya luck - as others have pointed out - Alcohol is not fun when not consumed in moderation. I will also venture to say her Liver isn't long for this world and once it goes.....................
 
Re: OT: I could kill my mother's f'en neighbor!

You might not like to hear this , but.............

Your mother is Old enough to take care of herself. I agree she probably does a less than stellar job of it at times but until she admits she has a problem there is nothing you can do to help her. Someone who doesn't want help - can't be help. I will say if she has subsidized housing it means her income is not at a high level and it sounds like most of what she has left over is alcohol. Once again you might not like hearing this but it sound slike the ONLY way things will get better is if you have her move in with you and make her aware of the fact she has a problem and tell her NO alcohol

Wish ya luck - as others have pointed out - Alcohol is not fun when not consumed in moderation. I will also venture to say her Liver isn't long for this world and once it goes.....................

Na, I know you are right Winky, you can lead a horse to water but not make the horse drink and unfortunately, have tried the moving in thing to an extent on a trial basis and it didn't go well, it is an option but don't know if it is worth trying again.

Thanks Winky and yeah, her liver's prospects are not good not to mention she has high blood pressure which she refuses to take her pills for.
 
Re: OT: I could kill my mother's f'en neighbor!

Day gets better, just found out my GMail was accessed by someone from Argentina and it was used via a mobile device to send out loads of spam to my contact list which included some books.

Several months ago, my GMail and Facebook was hacked by someone from Mexico.
 
Re: OT: I could kill my mother's f'en neighbor!

Day gets better, just found out my GMail was accessed by someone from Argentina and it was used via a mobile device to send out loads of spam to my contact list which included some books.

Several months ago, my GMail and Facebook was hacked by someone from Mexico.

Ugh, from Pennsylvania also I just noticed.
 

VegasRandy

EOG Veteran
Re: OT: I could kill my mother's f'en neighbor!

Maybe try an indirect method. From your description it sounds like she has felt bad for a long time. Improving her health good open her eyes to the possiblities that good health will lead to a much better life.

The type of food that you put into your body has a huge effect on the way you feel. If you could get her to change her diet this would make her feel better and could cause her to seek other changes as well. The Paleo Solution has had positive effects on the people who follow it. Here is the website with the info. Robb Wolf | The Paleo Solution book and podcast | Paleolithic nutrition, intermittent fasting, and fitness

Amazon.com: The Paleo Solution: The Original Human Diet (9780982565841): Robb Wolf, Loren Cordain Ph.D.: Books You can go to Amazon and read the reviews.

Telling her to stop drinking isn't going to do it. Making her feel better might open her eyes.

Good luck.
 
Re: OT: I could kill my mother's f'en neighbor!

Maybe try an indirect method. From your description it sounds like she has felt bad for a long time. Improving her health good open her eyes to the possiblities that good health will lead to a much better life.

The type of food that you put into your body has a huge effect on the way you feel. If you could get her to change her diet this would make her feel better and could cause her to seek other changes as well. The Paleo Solution has had positive effects on the people who follow it. Here is the website with the info. Robb Wolf | The Paleo Solution book and podcast | Paleolithic nutrition, intermittent fasting, and fitness

Amazon.com: The Paleo Solution: The Original Human Diet (9780982565841): Robb Wolf, Loren Cordain Ph.D.: Books You can go to Amazon and read the reviews.

Telling her to stop drinking isn't going to do it. Making her feel better might open her eyes.

Good luck.

Thanks VegasRandy.
 

newport2

EOG Dedicated
Re: OT: I could kill my mother's f'en neighbor!

This isn't going to end pretty. I have witnessed this scenario up close and personal.
 

rainbow

EOG Master
Re: OT: I could kill my mother's f'en neighbor!

You might not like to hear this , but.............

Your mother is Old enough to take care of herself. I agree she probably does a less than stellar job of it at times but until she admits she has a problem there is nothing you can do to help her. Someone who doesn't want help - can't be help. I will say if she has subsidized housing it means her income is not at a high level and it sounds like most of what she has left over is alcohol. Once again you might not like hearing this but it sound slike the ONLY way things will get better is if you have her move in with you and make her aware of the fact she has a problem and tell her NO alcohol

Wish ya luck - as others have pointed out - Alcohol is not fun when not consumed in moderation. I will also venture to say her Liver isn't long for this world and once it goes.....................
I agree 100% with if a person doesn't seek help they can't be helped....... I had to quit COCAINE on my own, all the lectures my sister gave me went in one ear and out the other...
 

KingRevolver

Born Rambler
Re: OT: I could kill my mother's f'en neighbor!

Sorry to see you in this tough spot, Mikey. I don't have much advice, though, I'm not sure of the proper steps. Especially if your mom is uncooperative.
 
Re: OT: I could kill my mother's f'en neighbor!

I agree 100% with if a person doesn't seek help they can't be helped....... I had to quit COCAINE on my own, all the lectures my sister gave me went in one ear and out the other...

Congratulations on quitting Cocaine.
 
Re: OT: I could kill my mother's f'en neighbor!

Sorry to see you in this tough spot, Mikey. I don't have much advice, though, I'm not sure of the proper steps. Especially if your mom is uncooperative.

Thanks Kinger and yeah, my mother has been uncooperative on this issue since before I was born, I would estimate around 35 years now.
 

pvcpipe

EOG Master
Re: OT: I could kill my mother's f'en neighbor!

The best thing you can do is focus on letting go of codependency and letting your Mom do her thing, come what may. Someone calls you to come get her? Nope. Little help on the rent? Shouldn't have drunk the money. And when she asks for help, be there. But until then, see ya.
 
Re: OT: I could kill my mother's f'en neighbor!

The best thing you can do is focus on letting go of codependency and letting your Mom do her thing, come what may. Someone calls you to come get her? Nope. Little help on the rent? Shouldn't have drunk the money. And when she asks for help, be there. But until then, see ya.

Yeah, I have to do that.
 
Re: OT: I could kill my mother's f'en neighbor!

I say you disown her. Sounds like she is disrespectful towards you and anyone else that tries to help her. YOu let her know that once she sobers up you will be back in her life. Did she drink while she was pregnant with you mikey?
 
Re: OT: I could kill my mother's f'en neighbor!

I say you disown her. Sounds like she is disrespectful towards you and anyone else that tries to help her. YOu let her know that once she sobers up you will be back in her life. Did she drink while she was pregnant with you mikey?

That is the plan.

Not sure if she did drink while she was pregnant with me or not, I know at least one person in my family who has drunk during at least one pregnancy, that person is not an alcoholic but that person did drink during at least one pregnancy.
 
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