Dell Dude's Thomas Dale Delay Suicide Parlay Tribute Thread

Dell Dude

EOG Master

Messages
82,806
This one's for YOU, congressman. Literally! In recent weeks I started playing a new kind of parlay called "open" parlays. So far only Carib and Heritage sportsbooks offer them. Open means delayed. You bet the parlay first then fill in the bets later. Since my favorite right wing politician is the honorable Congressman Tom "The Hammer" Delay of the great state of Texas, I named this type of parlay after him. Even though I have yet to win a single one - or even come close - these lips don't lie and I'm starting to feel it's right that I will win a walkoff 8-10 team $100,000 open parlay sometime during the upcoming football season. :+signs15-

When I do I will contribute 1% of the winning proceeds to Mr. Delay's re-election campaign, political action committee or legal defunse fund. This thread is all for you, TD. It is an honor and a privilege to bet illegally on the internet in your name. Good luck to you on your upcoming criminal trial, and good luck to me on my quest for suicide parlay immortaility. Good luck to both of us!

 
Tom DeLay

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia :+thumbs-2

Thomas Dale "Tom" DeLay (born April 8, 1947) is a former member of the United States House of Representatives from Sugar Land, Texas, the former House Majority Leader, and a prominent member of the Republican Party. He resigned from Congress on June 9, 2006 after a series of criminal indictments.

A conservative, DeLay was elected to the House in 1984. He became known as "The Hammer" for his enforcement of party discipline in close votes and his reputation for exacting political retribution on opponents. He was appointed Deputy Minority Whip in 1988 and was elected House Majority Whip in 1995 after helping Newt Gingrich to lead the Republican Revolution. In the 1990s, he helped to start the K Street Project, an effort to pressure lobbying firms to hire Republicans to top positions. He was also a driving force behind President Bill Clinton's impeachment in 1998. DeLay was elected House Majority Leader after the 2002 midterm elections, and was credited in recent years with compelling House Republicans to march in lock step, especially in support of President George W. Bush's agenda.

In the early 2000s, DeLay helped to coordinate efforts to redistrict congressional districts in Texas to favor the election of more Republicans. In 2005, a Texas grand jury indicted DeLay on criminal charges that he had conspired to violate campaign finance laws during that period. DeLay denied the charges, saying that Democratic District Attorney Ronnie Earle's actions were motivated by partisanship, but Republican Conference rules nonetheless forced DeLay to resign temporarily from his position as Majority Leader. In January 2006, under pressure from fellow Republicans, DeLay announced that he would not seek to return to the position. In the months before and after this decision, two of his former aides were convicted in the Jack Abramoff scandal. DeLay ran for re-election in 2006, and won the Republican primary election in March 2006. In April 2006, citing the possibility of losing the general election, he announced that he would withdraw from the race, and resign his seat in Congress. He resigned his seat on June 9, 2006. As of 2006, a legal fight to determine whether DeLay legally withdrew from the race is ongoing.
 
The thread theme song will be, "Hammer Time", by MC Hammer.



Every time you see him
Thomas The Hammer Delay's just so hype
He's dope on the House floor and he's magic on the Meet The Press mic
Now why would he ever stop doing this?
With liberal democrats making accusations that just don't hit
He's toured around the world, from DC to Uruguay
It's "Hammer, go Hammer, TD Hammer, yo Hammer"
And the rest can go and play

Break it down! It's Hammer time!

My, my, my legislation hits me so hard
Makes me say "Oh my Lord"
Thank you for blessing me
With a mind to rhyme and two hype feet
It feels good, when you know you're down
A super dope homeboy from the Sugartown
And I'm known as such
And this is a right winger, uh, you can't touch


I told you Bill Clinton (You can't touch this!)

Yeah, that's how I'm living and you know Hillary Clinton (You can't touch this!)

Read my lips, George Bush Senior (You can't touch this!)

Kiss my axis of evil ass, Dubya (You can't touch this!)

Let me bust the Barney Frank lyrics (You can't touch this!)


Yo, I told you Hillary (You can't touch this!)

Why you standing there, bitch? (You can't touch this!)

Yo sound the bell, House is in session sucka!




 
My Delay debutante parlay will have to wait as my balance stands at $0 at both Carib and Heritage. These will be minumum 5 teamers and always -110 max juice unless and until I am within chalk spitting distance of $100,000 or the max win limit - whichever is higher. An example would be sitting at $35,000 payout after 8 of 10. In this case I can basically close the Delay deal with two -150 plays. Instead of giving The Hammer 1% of just my walkoff win, I'll give him 1% of all my wins combined. But I will wait until I hit a walkoff to send the donation. Walkoff is defined as 8-10 team parlay. I'm fukin sirius. I go all the way, Delay gets the coin along with a personal letter signed by myself explaining the donation and a link to this thread.

:computer:
 
im surprised this clown isn't in jail....that's why i thought he had disappeared...lol

:mutley
 
Dell Dude said:
You talking about Delay or myself?

delldude i think she meant both:doh1

I hope you hit that parlay one day..good luck


bty-- do you still live in the basement as i recall or did you move on??
 
kidslick said:
delldude i think she meant both:doh1

I hope you hit that parlay one day..good luck


bty-- do you still live in the basement as i recall or did you move on??

Basement, broke, busted but with a job. BBBJ indeed.
 
This thread will also have Tom Delay news updates as events warrant. It's all Tom Delay all the time. Maybe I'll even be able to get Delay to agree to a Journeyman type sitdown interview. I'd like to ax him his position on the Middle East situation as well as his position on home underdogs. :answer:
 
Just because Heritage and Carib are the only sportsbooks I am aware that offer Tom Delay parlays, they are not the only sportsbooks you can this.

Cwissy Tom Delay Parlay

Tigertown -1?EV
Tigertown o10?EV
D'Backs -1?+125
D'Backs o9?EV

TBA
TBA
TBA
TBA
TBA
TBA

$34 to win ($578...)




This is a do-it-yourself open parlay. Technically the parlay is over if I go 4-0. But if I take my entire stake plus winnings and roll tide roll them on another play or plays, that's a fukkin Tom Delay parlay still! And this is even more Tom Delay than Tom Delay. Whereas I am locked in on whatever parlay number I bet initially at Carib and Heritage. With this I can end it anywhere I want: 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10...11, 12, 13...
 
How about hooking Tom DeLay up with a Ken Lay parlay? Birds of a feather steal together and all that!
 
I would have to go to at least five to reach Delay status, though, since the first bet was a four teamer. That will not be a problem as $600 is not even close where I need to be...
 
ZZ CREAM said:
How about hooking Tom DeLay up with a Ken Lay parlay? Birds of a feather steal together and all that!

Interesting. Maybe on an all favorite pointspread open parlay where I Ken Lay the points. :magnificent:
 
It was a tough decision of whom to deadicate this Tom Delay parlay. But after careful consideration, I decided to deadicate it to Tom Delay. :doh1
 
Once I get this bitch cranked up, I may start betting Tom Delay Filibuster Parlays. :+clueless That is, multiple duplicate Tom Delay suicide parlays over several sportsbooks.

:+friendly:+friendly:+friendly:+friendly
 
You do know that if you just bet 10 games straight, one right after another, you will receive better payouts than a parlay, right?
 
I could make a ten team parlay that would pay more than 10 double or nothing straight putts...
 
I didn't have time to explain the ten team parlay versus 10 rolling all or nothing straight putts. A sportsbook that pays true odds parlays, there is no difference. That is about 25% of the books. A book that allows you to buy half points on individual games in a parlay like Bowmans, you can actually increase your odds a fraction by taking three pointspreads and buying a half point on the other seven. Since a three teamer pays a little more than three straights and the rest become moneylines, that would be a higher payout assuming you bought half points on all those with the straights.

Or you could just do three on the pointspread and 7 on the moneyline but that wouldn't be wise if you have big favorites or big dogs, but it would be a higher payout than doing same thing straight.

Since most books you would max out before you got to ten with straight putts, it still would be worth it to do it in a parlay even if it is less odds. Plus, you couldn't chicken out.

There is absolutely nothing *square* about parlays. Just as good and maybe even better than straights. Bottom line: you have to win. You lose like I have been it don't matter one bit.
 
Betwwts is the best odds I could find for a parlay.

5 team parlay pays 25 to 1. If you bet 5 teams straight, you would get paid 25.36 to one.

9 team parlay pays 300 to 1 If you bet 9 teams straight, one right after another, you would get paid 336.85 to 1.

And this is assuming that you are paying -110, which I almost never do laying straight bets. If you do this at Pinnacle or an exchange or something where you're more likely to get -104, or even -101 or +102, then straight betting one after another and continuuing to "roll it over" would be MUCH better in terms of payouts.
 
ensign_lee said:
Betwwts is the best odds I could find for a parlay.

5 team parlay pays 25 to 1. If you bet 5 teams straight, you would get paid 25.36 to one.

9 team parlay pays 300 to 1 If you bet 9 teams straight, one right after another, you would get paid 336.85 to 1.

And this is assuming that you are paying -110, which I almost never do laying straight bets. If you do this at Pinnacle or an exchange or something where you're more likely to get -104, or even -101 or +102, then straight betting one after another and continuuing to "roll it over" would be MUCH better in terms of payouts.

You act like Dell Dude can just play at any book he wants. He is black listed at most. :D :p
 
<script type="text/javascript"> function scrollwindow() { if ((navigator.appName.indexOf("Netscape") < 0) || (parseInt(navigator.appVersion)>4)) scroll(0, 50000); if (navigator.appName.indexOf("Netscape") >= 0) scroll(0, 50000); } </script> <noscript> This functionality requires JavaScript. Please enable JavaScript and try again. To read the LivePerson accessibility policy, please go to the Liveperson accessibility policy page.
</noscript> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"> <tbody><tr> <td dir="ltr" class="chatContent"> [FONT=arial,arial,helvetica,geneva] Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'Gus'
Gus: Thank you for contacting HeritageSports, how may I help you today?
60285: on the open parlays, what is the max win for an eight teamer?
60285: i will be betting a lot of those football season...
60285: gong for thr home run ball
Gus: Nice.... let me check on this for you
Gus: 8 Teamer pays 150 to 1
Gus: that is in Madness hours
60285: you sure? says 140-1 on website?
Gus: 140-1 is for regular hours
60285: just want to know the max payout win amount
Gus: Madness hours are from
Gus: 10 to 2 pm PST there is a &#150; 107 on straights with $1,000 limit
Gus: that's why there are different 140-1 regular and 150-1 madness hours
60285: if i bet a $100 open eight teamer, what is the limit on the total payout?
Gus: I am asking the wagering department please hold
Gus: I was told by a Manager in the wagering department that the MAXIMUM they will pay on an 8 Team Parlay is $100,000
Gus: I don't know if there is anything else I can assist you with today?
60285: ok, that's what i wanted to know. thanks. i will be able to custom design my bets to reach 100k but not go over.
Gus: Thank you for choosing HeritageSports, have fun and enjoy the games!
[/FONT]
</td> </tr> </tbody></table>
 
I am not fukking around this year. One open parlay sound nice. Make it twice! I am going to be doing back-to-back Heritage/Carib Tom Delay suicide parlays. Heritage will pay $100,000 for the first eight. Carib another $100,000 after ten. All's I have to do now is find out what is the max payout for an eight teamer at Carib then I will know EXACTLY what opening bet amounts I will need both places to hit 100K after eight at Heritage and 100k after ten at Carib. This shitt's gonna happen this football season. Enough is enough but eight is not enough!
 
<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tbody><tr><td class="cash_top">Available Balance</td> <td class="cash_cell"> $0.00 </td> </tr> <tr> <td class="cash_top">Date of last activity</td> <td class="cash_cell">07/28/2006</td></tr></tbody></table>
Book Staff to Customer Messages for 08/03

Hi Joseph, the max pay for the NFL is $70,000, & while the MLB varies on the moneyline more so than the NFL, the max payoff will also be $70,000. Diana

So my Carib bet will have to be 70% of my Heritage bet. If I bet $100 at Heritage, $70 Carib. $150 Heritage, $105 Carib. $200 Heritage, $140 Carib. Dream scenario would be 8-0 with $100,000 in the bank at Heritage and only two -500 monster chalks away from another $100,000 at Carib.




YOU CAN DO IT THOMAS DALE DELAY
 
:+thumbs-2
Court says DeLay stays on Tex. ballot: report




HOUSTON (Reuters) - A U.S. Appeals Court rejected a request by Tom DeLay, the indicted former House of Representatives Republican leader, to have his name taken off the November congressional ballot, according to a report on the Houston Chronicle Web site on Thursday.

DeLay was seeking to have his name taken off the ballot after he resigned from Congress in June so Texas Republican leaders could name a successor. Democrats claimed DeLay should have stepped down before the primary in March.

A spokeswoman for DeLay was not immediately available to discuss the decision.
 
Carib Tom Delay Five Team Parlay

Rockies vs Giants Over 8.5 even
Rangers +115

TBA
TBA
TBA



$54.60 to win ($180.18...)


* * *

No comment.
 
Need a crooked ass quarter by Eskimos ay. Beer good. Touchdowns better ay. Take off and score you hosers ay.
 
Thread programming note:

Future Tom Delay parlays will only be for the max 8 teamer at Heritage or 10 teamer at Carib. If I win a parlay this thread, it's going to be of the I Walk The Line walkoff variety. The kiddie thread is thataway you see. It's thataway. :+signs7-1
 
Also I am in negotiations with Mr. Delay's representatives to see if I can get the congressman to agree to a sit down interview with myself in this thread. Right now the two sticking points are a $5000 stipend and no questions about the real reason he was nicknamed The Hammer. :talking:


I won't budge on either point. I already fukin owe $25,000+ in bounced eft's and I feel restrictions on questions would taint the entire interview. So the negotiations continue. Will update when compromise is reached...
 
Exclusive: DeLay Leans Toward Standing Aside, Endorsing Write-In

Ever since the mugshot taken when he was booked on money laundering
charges, former Congressman Tom DeLay of Texas has been grinning through his court appearances and resignation speeches. He even mischievously suggested recently on TV that Democratic efforts to keep him on the November ballot might prompt him to seek reelection. On Monday, the Democrats won the ballot battle and Republican sources tell TIME that DeLay is leaning to another surprising move -- stepping aside and supporting a write-in candidate for his old seat.

A Republican official with first-hand knowledge of the deliberations by DeLay said he "more likely than not" will go that route, although he had not made a final decision. "With DeLay, you never know," the official said.

DeLay plans to make the announcement this week, the officials said. Monday's decision by U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia denying high court review of the ballot issue means Republicans will not be able to put another party candidate's name on the November ballot. Democrats believe that will boost the chances for a victory by Democrat Nick Lampson. The former congressman, who lost a neighboring district in DeLay's redistricting shuffle, had $2.1 million in campaign funds by last official count. Democratic operatives testifying in Austin last month said keeping DeLay's name on the ballot would boost Lampson's profile with national Democratic big donors.

Some Republican lawyers said the write-in strategy could prevail if DeLay's name remains on the ballot, or if officials allow him to withdraw so that no Republican name appears.

The write-in effort in the 22nd District of Texas would bring a fresh, unsullied face to the hunt. "Lampson's best shot has always been against DeLay--Lampson's record is too liberal for a Republican district," a GOP official said, signaling the tack the party plans to take. An official close to DeLay said: "Nick Lampson would lose this race to a write-in candidate who had any name ID at all."

The write-in candidate has not been chosen, but Republican officials in
Washington said they have a good chance of retaining the seat if it is a credible candidate like a mayor, judge or state legislator. Sugar Land Mayor David Wallace has expressed interest in running. Write-in candidates have until Aug. 29 to apply for a slot on the ballot. National Republicans are prepared to put money into the write-in campaign if a promising candidate is found. "You can buy name ID," said a Republican official, using campaign shorthand for making a candidate well known in the district.


But the notion of a write-in campaign drew a different reaction in Texas.
"This would be met with ridicule and scorn," said Bill Miller, a Republican
consultant with close ties to the state's GOP legislative leadership. "This
strategy would be like handing the seat to the Democrats on a silver platter," Miller said. "Tom Delay will be remembered for the craziest end to his political career."


Miller said it is arrogant to think voters will support a write-in gambit.
"Anointing a candidate never works," Miller said. "Voters are likely to say,
'The hell with 'em' and write in their own name, their kid's name." Plus, if his name remained on the ballot, it is likely DeLay would attract some of the
vote away from the write-in candidate.


DeLay is a proven draw when it comes to national Democratic fundraising and he continues to garner support in his old Texas district, where he won the March primary election with 62% of the vote. But his legal troubles have cut into that hometown popularity and when DeLay made his stunning decision not to run again, it was based partly on a poll showing he might have to struggle for the seat while almost any other Republican would win easily.


DeLay's legal woes will not be going away before Election Day. In Texas, he
is appealing state money-laundering charges linked to funneling prohibited
corporate donations to state legislative races. Meanwhile in Washington, the Jack Abramoff scandal has ensnared two of DeLay's former aides
and on Monday prompted Republican Congressman Bob Ney to announce he would not seek re-election.


DeLay has suggested in television appearances that he would give Democrats their worst nightmare by mounting a full-fledged campaign for the seat if the court fight failed, and DeLay's team gave serious consideration to that route. But out of the more than $3 million raised by his reelection committee last year, DeLay still had some $641,000 on his latest federal elections report in June and he testified in an Austin federal court last month that he has embarked on a new career. DeLay has signed with an international speakers' bureau, and has a contract with a bestselling author who will write an as-told-to book that will include DeLay's views on his Christian faith. However, Miller warned that DeLay
could jeopardize his ties to conservative Republicans if he adopted the write-in scenario.


Royal Masset, the former political director of the Republican Party of Texas, said DeLay's old district is still "winnable" by the GOP even with DeLay as
the candidate, but a write-in campaign would be "a disaster." Masset warned his fellow Republicans to recall the last time they ran a major write-in effort.

In 1976, Donald Yarbrough, an unknown with a mess of legal woes said he was called to run "by God" for a seat on the state Supreme Court. Yarbrough won the Democratic primary on the strength of sharing the same last name with several notable Texas Democrats. Republicans thought they saw an opening and launched a statewide write-in campaign for their own candidate who also boasted a famous last name - Houston, as is Sam Houston. Masset said the GOP bombarded voters with free pencils and copies of sample write-in ballots. But Yarbrough won with over 90% of the vote. Later, Justice Yarbrough was indicted for perjury by DeLay's nemesis, prosecutor Ronnie Earle, then fled to Grenada and was discovered there attending medical school when the U.S. invaded the Caribbean island nation.

Go get'em Tommy Boy! :violent:
 
Just for the record, I'm available to take Delay's place as a write-in candidate. There is the *small* problem about residency but I am willing to move into Delay's Sugarland basement if need be. :+thumbs-2
 
Thomas Dale Tom Delay time.

Carib in da club 10 teamer

Just Win +105 Baby
Just Go Over 34.5 Baby
Tigertown +130

TBA
TBA
TBA
TBA
TBA
TBA
TBA



$50 to win ($400.07...)
 
Texas mayor files for DeLay's seat

By APRIL CASTRO, Associated Press Writer Fri Aug 11, 8:01 PM ET

AUSTIN, Texas - Sugar Land's Republican mayor on Friday became the first person to file as a write-in candidate on the ballot for former House Majority LeaderTom DeLay, who resigned from Congress in June amid allegations of money laundering.

DeLay tried to render himself ineligible for the race by moving to Virginia so that another Republican could replace him on the ballot for the suburban Houston seat.

But a federal appeals court ruled last week that DeLay, who won the March Republican primary election, is still eligible and must remain on the Nov. 7 ballot, leaving state Republicans to organize behind a write-in candidate.

Sugar Land Mayor David Wallace filed his application Friday. Houston City Councilwoman Shelley Sekula-Gibbs has said she would run for the seat only if the GOP said it would backed her.

A spokeswoman for the state GOP, Gretchen Essell, said party leaders had not determined which candidate they would support in the race.

The Democratic candidate on the ballot will be former U.S. Rep. Nick Lampson.

DeLay stepped down as majority leader last year after he was indicted in Texas on money laundering charges alleging he helped funnel illegal corporate money to legislative campaigns in 2002. He gave up his effort to reclaim the leadership job amid questions about his associations with convicted ex-lobbyist Jack Abramoff and pressure from party colleagues.

DeLay denies all allegations of wrongdoing and has labeled the Texas charges a political witch hunt.
:smokesmal
 
This is for $50,000. Payout odds are capped at 1000-1. Strategery the same. I will not go lower than -110 until and unless at the very end when I am descending with chalk. This is a simple thing. You who let the dogs out early then kill 'em with chalk late just like the superdope homeboy from Sugarland does it in the House...
 
Back
Top