ENCINO, California - The vitriolic blonde, right-wing author, blogger and 9/11 widow basher, Ann Coulter, is the model for a new adult toy, a blow-up doll, which debuted on November 7th, election day, and sales have been a huge disappointment for the manufacturer.
"We thought this was shooting fish in a barrel," said Jeff Larson, owner of the Encino based Adult Novelty Superstore. "We read the blogs, the fan sites, we know Republican guys have the hots for her, but apparently not enough to buy her doll."
<cite>Yet another disappointment for the Republicans, the Ann Coulter blow up doll.</cite>
</center> Although she never approved of the creation of the doll, Larson said there has been no contact from Coulter's representatives.
The Coulter blow up doll was a manufacturing challenge, a direct result of her skeleton-like appearance and Adam's apple. "We went back and forth with our manufacturer in Taiwan and trying to get the look right required a little improvising," Larson explained. "The neck is from a male blow up doll and we had to re-engineer a series of molds to get the look right, well, right for Ann that is."
The grand total of doll sales was only two units, but recent news dropped that figure down to one. Chad Conrad Castagana, the man arrested for sending threatening letters to Rep. Nancy Pelosi, Jon Stewart and Keith Olbermann, was one of the two buyers.
"I saw that story on the news and as soon as I saw the name, I knew one of the boxes I just shipped would probably be coming back. I don't think they allow blow up dolls in prison," Larson said.
Voters sent a signal to the politicians and, apparently, that same signal is being sent to sex toy manufacturers trying to create products attractive to Republicans.
"I can tell you the Michelle Malkin doll we had in the works won't be introduced to the marketplace anytime soon," Larson said.
</td> <td valign="top"> <form name="RatingForm" method="get" action="/cgi-share/1review.cgi"> <input name="mode" value="submit" type="hidden"> <input name="ecode" value="9074383N" type="hidden"> <input name="type" value="toys" type="hidden"> <input name="af" value="5239" type="hidden"> <table border="0" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="0" height="418" width="257"> <tbody><tr> <td class="black" valign="top">Description: Lil' 'Ho' Peep & His Sheep are the ultimate in miniature love doll series…perfect for your nasty party as favors, or the ultimate gag gift for your favorite Republican ! The convenient small size makes for easy handling and they travel well, too! Peep takes the cock hard and balls deep, and the sassy sheep like it in their rear love hole like REPUBLICAN HEROES LARRY CRAIG, "BULLDOG" GANNON, MARK FOLEY and GOOD BUSH BUDDY TED HAGGARD PREFER ON A NITELY BASIS !! ... The mini masturbators have full size love passages to take it over and over again. GEORGE BUSH "FLOCK" MEMBERS will never have to spend another nite having fantasies about Anne Coulter or Grannie Bush with this "willing companion" that wont bitch about the Iraq War or the Failed Bush economic policies as they do it "Sheepie" style !!
Check out Eva Braun Coulter with ol Matt Sanchez ....
Who is Matt Sanchez??
O'Reilly and Hannity introduced this hunky USMC reservist, Columbia University student and die-hard wing-nut to America on their GOP propaganda broadcasts. He came on to whine about Ivy League anti-military attitudes and, of course, he was a big star at this year's CPAC (where he got some kind of award not related to his penis size).
But while Ann Coulter was trying to smear devoted family man John Edwards as a "***got," Mr. Sanchez may have been wondering if anyone would out him as gay porn "actor" Rod Majors, star of the Republican family values flics, Jawbreaker, Donkey Dick and Glory Holes Of Fame 3. I don't know what Ann Coulter has to say about his much-touted "eleven inch uncut monster cock" but no doubt it had fellow CPAC attendee Mitch McConnell's little heart aflutter. McConnell never got to pose for a picture-- that we know of-- with Mr. Sanchez because Ann Coulter was all over him.
On the September 27 edition of Fox News' Hannity & Colmes, co-host Sean Hannity and right-wing pundit Ann Coulter told co-host Alan Colmes that they "don't believe" a report that Army Ranger Pat Tillman was a fan of leftist author Noam Chomsky, opposed the Iraq war, and planned to vote for Sen. John Kerry (D-MA) in the 2004 presidential election. But according to a September 25 San Francisco Chronicle report that Colmes cited, Tillman's mother said that he had planned to meet privately with Chomsky and that "Pat was very critical of the whole Iraq war." Tillman, a former pro football star, served in Iraq before being killed by friendly fire in Afghanistan in April 2004.