EOG's Best Bet thread for Tuesday, June 2

>Posting Tuesday for Wednesday spot for possible October NCAAF game...
Saturday, October 17, 2020 ✨
NCAAF College Football—1410 Syracuse -9 -110 (BetOnline)

12 pm EDT/9 am PDT—Wut? NCAAF? In June? Wut if we (I) should die before College Football kicks off? Does JK give 2x units for W’s post-mortem? My spiritual journey doesn’t quite seem complete just yet, my ßaba Damn Ass. I thought there were more Chicago State Fades and Titties and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups® in my Future. Damn. Oh well. ße best? How ‘bout “ße Safe,” sister? That trite phrase seems much more appropo for these Mad Max days. Urban Dictionary says “Titties” are often sometimes called “Butterbags,” although I’ve never heard another Homo Sapien Sapien ever say the word “Butterbags.” We start now. Nice Butterbags®. Butterbags. ßutterbags.com.

In the Lookahead-Futures market, Offshore sportsbook BetOnline has Syracuse as opening 9-point Favorites (-110; $22 to win $20) against Liberty in Week Whatever in Non-Conference play from the Carrier Dome (AstroTurf) in the Orange-tinted neighborhood of Syracuse, NY. Got Oranges? Me neither.

Because Liberty shuns ßutterbags and Syracuse embraces them, I am awarding 1 point because Tits matter. So what if my Math Model embraces Nipples, ßrohamster? Gett Off me. College Football players always have maximum Spermatozoa racing through their Testes, so that tickly drive—driven by Breasts—means they want to win more to be Happier to make the Coeds moist-er. I have learned that Women en masse detest the word “moist.” Who knew? Fucking pussies. I fear that this Pandemic has dented my ßrain. Once upon a time in a haystack of despair. Happiness sometime hard to find (yeah) Africa divided, hijack in the air. It's enough to make you want to lose your mind...

Anyway, we handicap for the first time ever without the Marc Lawrence Playbook, so, wait, the 2019 edition will do. Numbers are numbers and Facts is Facts like my old [R] next door neighbor who told me it costs 12½ cents to make a Penny. “Facts are (made up) facts.”

FOX News is very much like Methamphetamine in its powers of deterioration. Rupert Murdoch thinks that you are a Cockroach. Who do you listen 2? I still listen to Chrstiane Amanpour, just like 1991 when I moved to this Gambling Hut in the Mojave Desert. She is as solid and consistent as they come. She works for both CNN and PBS. She’s pure class. She is a Truth ßuddha.

The purple Mountains don’t lie because they know through the experience of Papa Time that it’s a meaningless endeavor. Liars are everywhere these days, so beware. Some things are opinion, but some things can be measured (ßutterbags, Literal Words). Now, let’s speculate. Hey, who needs the 2020 Marc Lawrence Playbook when you’ve (I’ve) already handicapped, researched and (correctly) picked this matchup in this sacred spot of Cyberspace where most eog-ers seldom go. Only the Wise Men know where squirrels hide their Nuts.

My past written (not sung) Words tell me Syracuse (5-7 SU, 4-8 ATS) were ranked #22 last year and that “the number in this game has gone from 16½ up to 18 and 19 in most shops Offshore (Wednesday) but still at 17½ in a couple of Las Vegas sportsbooks (Circa Sports, Station Casinos).” I have finally quoted myself. I am still flaccid. The Total was 68. The Final Score in Lynchburg? SYR 24 LIB 0. Liberty had 6 Wins back in 2018 before COVID-19 ate Erf, but those W’s were against NMS, NM, ODU, TROY, IDAHO STATE and NORFOLK STATE.

FBS Independent Liberty (8-5 SU, 7-5-1 ATS in 2019) return solid Senior QB Stephen Calvert (3,663/28 TD/7 INT) and ESPN says the Flames have 6 other QBs on the Roster, with 3 of them Freshmen. ßuckshot loves to throw the Skin of Pig, but his favorite target, WR Antonio Gandy-Golden (6/119 vs SYR in 2019; 5/115 at Half) is gone now and plying his handy-gandy wares for the NFL’s Washington Redskins, so the pass-happy Calvert will have to throw, throw, throw to everyone else, including Senior Damian King (29/189). Nobody has held a Bible more uncomfortably than Donald J. Trump on June 1, 2020.

For Syracuse (2-4 ATS at Home), QB Tommy DeVito (2,390/18/5 TDs) is back to lead the Offense as is RB Moe Neal (170/846/7/5.0 ypr;3 REC, 54 Yds vs LIB LY) is back as well but 2 of the top 4 Orange WRs are in the NFL—Sean Riley (Patriots) and Trishton Jackson (Rams)—but Taj Harris (37/559/2) and Nykiem Johnson (19/99) are back and Syracuse will be more Rush-heavy again with the talented and more experienced DeVito and Neal toting the pigskin.

In last year’s meeting, Liberty (3-4 ATS on Road) had 4 TOs to the then-#22 ranked Syracuses’ 3, the ToP was fairly even as were (almost) the First Downs (LIB 18-17) but Syracuse had 10 penalties for 88 yards while the good Christian Flames had only 5 (for 55 yards). Jesus don’t tolerate no Late Hits, Papa Bear. All 4 Quarters went Under with both Syracuse (3-7-7-7) and Liberty (0-0-0-0) failing to put up multiple scores in all 4 quarters. HC Dino Babers and Syracuse led all Power Five conferences with 31 TOs in 2018.

Second-year Liberty HC Hugh Freeze can build on last year’s game, but the bottom line is that the Orange Defense was sensational, sacking Calvert 8 times (-51 yards), holding the Flames to -4 Rushing Yards and forcing 4 TOs, and that could be the story again here, although three (two Undrafted) very good Syracuse DL are in the NFL (Chris Slayton—NYG, Alton Robinson—SEA, Kendall Coleman—IND). LB Lakiem Williams (11 Tackles, 1½ Sacks vs LIB LY) and Syracuse have played solid D for 2 straight seasons now, have a very good PK in Vernon Hills, IL native Andre Szmyt (17-20 FGs, 18-19 XPs in 2019) and the Orange know the nastiness of an ACC Atlantic Division schedule awaits and Non-Conference Wins—especially on campus—serve the Soul well.

Let’s hope that they actually play this one someday. And remember Butterbags breath, there is no “P” in Team, only a “T” and an “A.”

Syracuse 31 ✺ Liberty 10

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