Joke Of The Day...

Viejo Dinosaur

Viejo Dinosaur

EOG Master
You are in Miami with chaos all around you because of a hurricane...You are a photo journalist and you are stuck in the middle of a flood of biblical proportions....Situation is nearly hopeless....You are trying to take some Pulitzer Prize photos of this disaster....Mother Nature is causing havoc and you are fighting for your life....

Suddenly you see a woman in the water fighting for her life...then you notice that the waters are taking her under...then you recognize the woman as Nancy Pelosi and she is crying for help...You have two choices...You can save her life or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize Photo of one of the most powerful women in the World struggling to stay alive ...Now here is the question and dilemma...

Do you shoot her with high density color film or go with the classic black and white???
 
John Kelly

John Kelly

Born Gambler
Staff member
Replace Pelosi with Trump and the liberals are laughing out loud.

Even jokes are partisan these days.

Thanks for sharing, VD.
 
Cec The Fleece

Cec The Fleece

EOG Senior Member
The IRS decides to audit JK and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor is not surprised when JK shows up with his attorney Oscar Goodman.
The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."


"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says JK.

"How about a demonstration? "

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."


JK says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."


The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."


JK removes his glass eye and bites it.

The auditor's jaw drops.

JK says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye"


The auditor can tell JK isn't blind, so he takes the bet. JK removes his dentures and bites his good eye.


The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with JK's attorney as a witness.


He starts to get nervous.

"Want to go double or nothing?" JK asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."


The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.


JK stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk.


The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But JK's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.


"Are you okay?" the auditor asks. "Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when JK told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it."
 
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