I think you post a lot of strawman & erroneous assumptions from your make believe fantasy world & still have this hanging over your head:
You don't understand. The most important part of a Punkeyforker post is the hard hitting, razor sharp putdown at the end. The rest is just him blowing himself as some kind of tiny guy defense mechanism, not really intended for you to dissect. Most of it is just extremely low IQ pretzel logic which easily strays from any rhyme or reason. Conceptual semantics with no possible inference.
Just read the baby LA LA shit at the end and try your very best to get on with your day after you bust a gut laughing. The kid posts for one reason. Self loathing and insecurity. If you saw a pic you'd understand.