Re: American Idol 2009- Season 8 Thread and Discussion
Oh well, I'll just type the whole thing:
American Idol- Season 8- Top 7 #2- April 21, 2009
A visit to the dentist, Monday morning, American Idol disco night. Things that are inevitable but you dread anyway. Ding!
Welcome to the American Idol review $100,000 pyramid edition. We'll give you the clues, you just have to guess the mediocrity. So grab the Pabst Blue Ribbon, the cheez-its, and the remote (things I have within an arm's length) and let's play along at home. This is Idol review, pyramid-style.
Broadway show tunes, a Cher concert crowd, your host Ryan Seacrest. Things that are suspiciously gay. Ding! Bonus points round: Enron stock, a liberal arts degree, your Idol judges. Things that are completely worthless. Ding, ding, ding!
In-laws at the holidays, Manny Ramirez in Boston, Lil Rounds and her humongous ass. Think about it. Things that have overstayed their welcome. Ding, ding, ding! Lil is singing the Oprah theme song while wearing a scary looking form-fitting black unitard. Just as she has the past several weeks, she delivers yet another underwhelming diva performance. Um, you think they are burying her by putting her first? Captain Obvious says yes. Even the leader of the Idol Black Panthers, Randy Jackson, helps put the nails in her coffin.
Fun house mirrors, kids on the playground, Kris Allen singing. Things that make funny faces. Ding, ding, ding! Kris going back to his Castro/Mayer-esque roots for a unique Donna Summer arrangement. This is the kind of quirkiness that made him a contender a few weeks back. While not perfect, it was close enough to put him in the "wow factor" zone and perhaps even shake up the competition a little. Doberman rarely does it these days, but gotta give props on that one.
Doritos Nacho Flavor, the dairy aisle at the grocery store, Danny Gokey. Things that are way too cheesy. Ding, ding, ding! Bobby Bland or whatever his name is goes back to designer glasses #43 for a chmaltzy version of "September". It falls somewhere between Huey Lewis the latter years and the one-man band at the Westward Ho lunge. Seriously, this guy comes across as the biggest poser in the entertainment industry. That was 55.8 times worse than Kris. Yet he'll get great comments and lots of votes, go figure America.